


looking out for you like i always do

by somber



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, just a lil character study of how mingyus in love with wonwoo, soft feelings i suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24418486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somber/pseuds/somber
Summary: Maybe it’s because it’sforeverto Mingyu—everything Wonwoo does makes him ache for an eternity spent with the boy—he can’t bring himself to allow the flowers in his lungs to spill forth from his otherwise big mouth.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 7
Kudos: 56





	looking out for you like i always do

Mingyu knows that the gentle curving of Wonwoo’s lips, the softening of his pretty eyes, the way he leans into Mingyu when he’s speaking—none of it is an invitation to kiss him. He knows this, knows this so very well because it happens a million times and each time is the same—the butterflies in his stomach and the blood pounding in his ears as he pictures himself leaning forward just a _little_ bit more, pressing his mouth to the older boy’s.

He doesn’t, of course. He could never.

He holds his feelings tightly to his chest, and the way they struggle against the cage he has made for them is something he refuses to acknowledge.

Because when the moment is over, when the thickness from the air clears, Mingyu is the only one that’s affected. He’s the only one left with shaky fingers and a sweaty back and the lingering feeling of an _almost_ , a very embarrassing _almost_.

His closest friend—the one person he feels like he’s known _forever_ even though it’s only been six or so years since he’s moved to this city. And maybe it’s because it’s _forever_ to Mingyu—everything Wonwoo does makes him ache for an eternity spent with the boy—he can’t bring himself to allow the flowers in his lungs to spill forth from his otherwise big mouth.

They can stay like this. Mingyu will fight Soonyoung for Wonwoo’s affection and Wonwoo will roll his eyes at their antics.

And later, when they share a bed at Mingyu’s house, Wonwoo will tell him out of the blue:

“You’re my favorite, even if you’re an idiot.”

The underlying ‘ _stop fighting with Soonyoung_ ’ is unsaid. Mingyu pretends he doesn’t hear it, because _really_ , he’s not even the one starting the fights in the first place. It’s not his fault that he wants to spend time with his best friend.

Even if his best friend doesn’t consider him his best friend. Which would be fine, if he considered Mingyu as his boyfriend instead but he doesn’t. And so, Mingyu watches as Soonyoung clings to the older boy whenever they hang out as a group. He watches as Soonyoung refers to him as his husband and Wonwoo doesn’t even bat an eye—he just shakes his head. He’s used to it, after all. They’ve been friends since they were five—had met _years_ before Mingyu had even known of Wonwoo’s existence.

Mingyu watches them behave domestically, ignoring the odd queasiness in his stomach.

But there’s one thing that’s his saving grace—he _knows_ Wonwoo. He understands the older so well because he’s been in love since he first laid eyes on his chubby eighth-grader face, since he’d struck up a conversation with the older boy because _hey, he’s new here,_ and _was that stuff he was doodling anime?_

He knows Wonwoo because he’s adored him for so long now, watching him even when someone else was speaking, just to see his reaction first. Just to catch his eye before Soonyoung could so that they could share a laugh. Mingyu loves him more than he loves himself, really, and he’s loved him before he’d even learned to love himself.

He knows Wonwoo—not as who he was when he was speaking, actively projecting an image of himself—but as who he was when he was quiet, listening with a smile on his face. Mingyu knows him as the concentrated face he makes when he takes an exam. Mingyu knows him as the way he gets overly competitive when they play video games. Mingyu knows him as the profile of his face buried in a book, when Mingyu skips his period four literature class almost every day for a year to share earbuds with the older boy, content to watch him read. He fails that class and has to retake it over the summer but truly, even now as he’s in university, he can’t bring himself to care.

And here’s the thing—Mingyu loves Wonwoo in a way that Soonyoung does not.

Mingyu is a selfish person. He knows this. Soonyoung is too—they’re so similar in some ways but when it comes to Wonwoo, Soonyoung demands too much of the boy. He whines when Wonwoo hangs out with Mingyu, he gets passive aggressive when Wonwoo gets socially tired and cancels plans. He ignores Wonwoo for a week when he accidentally hurts his feelings.

Here’s the difference—Kim Mingyu is a goddamn doormat when it comes to him.

When Wonwoo cancels their plans because he’s feeling overwhelmed, Mingyu walks for thirty minutes to get starbucks for him—and then another ten to get to his house. And when Wonwoo opens the door, still in his pajamas at eleven in the morning, Mingyu hands him his coffee with a smile and begins the fourty minute walk back home. He beams like a dope at the ‘ _thank you.’_ Wonwoo had texted him for most of the way and tries to not get hit by a car.

There’s no pressure, with him.

Not that it matters much. Being Wonwoo’s favorite over Soonyoung _does_ give him some satisfaction, but it’s not like he does all of this just to beat Soonyoung. He does it because he just loves Wonwoo. More than life itself, probably, if he was going to be dramatic about it. But his love doesn’t matter all that much either, because Wonwoo will never look at Mingyu the way he looks him—stupidly, disgustingly affectionate, according to the rest of their friend group. He’s lucky, in a way. Wonwoo is so stupidly oblivious to just how much he loves him, the way it strays far from friendship.

Or maybe, he does know. Maybe he just pretends not to, because although Mingyu keeps his thoughts close to his heart and far away from his tongue, there’re only so many times he can press kisses into the older’s hair as if it means nothing to him, even though he does it with no one else.

Personally, Mingyu doesn’t think he knows.

That’s why he always finds himself in this exact situation, staring at Wonwoo as he talks quietly, wondering what would happen if he kissed him. But nothing Wonwoo does is an invitation, nothing Wonwoo ever _has_ done has been an invitation—so he settles for running his thumb over the back of his hand and listening to him carefully.

It’s worth it, really, just to see his smile. Mingyu doesn’t need much, doesn’t dare want for much either. He’ll find his happiness in the little things instead.

**Author's Note:**

> written for a girl who will never know this is about her, but when its late at night and a love song plays i still think about how much i loved you


End file.
